I don’t know what the obsession with online multiplayer gaming is, but I truly, honestly wish it would stop. It’s not that multiplayer gaming in theory is necessarily a bad thing; there are times when it can be fun. The issue for me is that every multiplayer game is really an offshoot of the older PC games that game before it. (Capture the area/flag, Deathmatch etc) And now companies are adding needless multiplayer modes to games that do not need it. (Think of Grand Theft Auto 4, Resident Evil 5 and the terrible modes in Kane and Lynch.)  Multiplayer has become the new Go Green and Atkins label they slap on things because people can be rather easy when it comes to advertising.  Stupidly duped is more like it. Multiplayer is today’s fighting game genre that was popular fifteen years ago. There were so many fighting games it was unreal. Eternal Champions? Clay Fighters? Blah! As far as multiplayer goes I was playing Counterstrike and Team Fortress  ten years ago on, what now seems like an absurdly slow 56k connection.  Yes, at that time there wasn’t  a voice chat back then, but I would call my call friends on the early versions of the analog cells when they offered free weekends and nights and boom – I had my method to communicate. linking Three Way calling all the way! Not that it matters for the current voice features. Few people actually utilize multiplayer gaming and voice chat for it is supposed to be for. And that is why I hate multiplayer gaming.

We could wax philosophic on which games are the best for multiplayer gaming. I can tell you that it matters little as they all end up being the same at their core. We cannot argue that the Call of Duty franchise stepped up their game with Modern Warfare. This is now the quintessential version of multiplayer gaming – and while I had a lot of fun playing and leveling up, it got old really, really fast.  This is not because there are people out there who can jump off a building, fall headshot me from 500 yards away without zooming during their fall.  It is because everyone else reaches the point where they allow those fuckers to be able to do it. 

Here is the classic scenario: You enter a room and someone says, “You know what a gay name is, Professor Goose . .oh wait.” Ha ha dude.  This guy and his one or two buddies decide that it is funny to insult people on their own team.  That’s good. So, since these dicks cannot get into the verbal battle with the person they want to in the game, they pick on someone who can assist them in achieving their goals.  And, heaven forbid a woman actually speaks and reveals herself. These horny losers lose their shit.

It’s just a girl, chill out. There is no need to be a misogynist asshole in chat. No wonder women hate men.

Instead of people working together as a unit, then run off like little Rambos thinking that they are a one man army. After all, why not? There are no consequences to dying. You either will respawn in a few seconds or when the round is over.  Personally, I think people should have to pay some points per life – that’s right, I said it. (It was actually an idea of a friend of mine, but it’s a good one.) That would stop these fuckers from running out there blindly.

The only thing most people care about is their Kill/Death ratio. And, at the end of the day what should matter is not your personal Kill/Death ratio, but the cumulative score of your team – whether it is the end score or the total kill/deaths for the team. Let’s say, I take a role of being a scout. Sure, there aren’t scouts in COD4, but you can be one if you want. This role sacrifices a death or two for intel. Duh. 

 You see, what I loathe about multiplayer is that no one acts as a team – ever. You might think you are acting as a team, but I can assure you that you are not.  In order to act as a team, you have to (and I quote The Rock here) know your role. You may love to run around being a sniper, but guess what fuck stick, a team does not need four of them.  Same goes for other positions as well. The second and more critical part of acting as a team is communication. You have to not only communicate, but you need to know how to communicate quickly and effectively.  If you say, “over by the building near the barrel . . blah blah” you are not communicating effectively.  If you strategize and work as a unit, then the other Rambos are going to fall easily. I quote my favorite film of all time, “Every man’s life depends on all. If you kill everything on your right, then you know the man on your left will kill everything on his left.  Like the fingers of a hand – a fire team!”